Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Stick It, Tuesday!


Ahhh, Tuesday!  Today you are my second favorite day of the week.  Why me, you ask?  Because it was a three day weekend and you, my love, are the first day of a short week.  THAT means, the weeks is 1/4 done already!

So, it's time to pay homage to Supahmommy with my Stick It, Tuesday.  What to write, what to write....

Went shopping for a new vehicle this weekend....

We were entertained by a 5'6" 400 lb. (not kidding) salesman.....

(this was an actual conversation we had while waiting for the "deal")

Got very annoyed with the "deal"....





So, we drove home in our fully-loaded, leather interior, DVD w/Surround Sound, power everything 2005 Grand Caravan (did I mention the sunroof?) with our cash still in our hand. 

So, maybe we'll keep the soccer mom van, although I wanted something sexy football mommyish....
We discussed our trip on the way home...


Well, that's about it.  Little Man had Homecoming this weekend (yes, at six years old).  Now that my PC is back up, I'll have to load some pics and do a post about that....

Disclaimer:  No obscenely obese people were hurt in the writing of this post.  I also have nothing against obscenely obese people. I'm just asking questions that you KNOW have run through your own head.  The side effects of this post could include but are not limited to:  throwing up in the mouth a little; mental images that won't go away for days; nightmares; constant rubbing of eyes and chanting, "Go away bad dream"....

21 comments:

Shell said...

OMG, I was cracking up at your fat man comments!

Care to trade your mom-van for my truck? My kids need to be able to NOT sit right beside each other and beat the crap out of each other every single trip.

Danielle said...

Seriously, how do they pee?

Janie Woods said...

Shell, that's why we got the van. Family trips in the Manly Man truck are oh so fun!!!

Melissa said...

These were the funniest ever!!! I once saw a video (don't ask how I watched it) of an obese man jacking off, but he was doing it with some kind of suction type instrument because he was too fat to reach his arms down there!!

Oh and why would you get rid of that fully loaded Caravan...? Sounds nice to me!!

Princess of Sarcasm said...

Hmmm....I never really pictured you as a Caravan kind of girl.

Chief said...

I will now go dip my head in bleach trying to erase the images

SupahMommy said...

i am mostly trying to erase melissa's image


and sell that van on craigs list for wayyy more than that.

and then go into a dealer and tell them to bend over.

xoxoox
supah

Jessica said...

For surely the people around me are wondering why I'm looking at my computer screen and laughing.out.loud.

WannabeVirginia W. said...

More importantly, how does he wipe his ass? Really? Always wondered about that!

Southern Sage said...

why you gotta hate on heavy duty guys for?

I'm heavy duty, I would say big boned but folks might misinterpret that!

Amber said...

Love the notes! Of course I've had convo's with friends along these same lines. :)

Janie Woods said...

Princess: Yes, soccer mom vans for 11 years now...): BUT we talked last night about just getting me a car for work and leaving the van home...Spider, here I come!

Supah: I'm with you. I rubbed my eyes REALLY hard after Melissa's comment.

My Sage baby: You, luv, are perfect. He was beyond heavy duty! He's a foot shorter and 200 pounds heavier than you!! And, there ain't nothin' wrong with being "big boned"...That's actually even MORE perfect...0:

Wannabe: Yeah....I've thought that same thing a LOT!!

JennyMac said...

hahahahaha....the details about the man getting a bj made me both laugh out loud and want to vomit. LOL.

Patois said...

Reinforced toilet seat, peeing sitting down. Sex? What's that?

Janie Woods said...

JennyMac: You should have been there for the conversation. I went into detail about how a woman's arms would have great triceps if they were doggy style and she had to hold her face off the pillow. Hubs was even funnier, "Here, let me lift this up so you can find it for me." Then discussing if he can clean the sweaty lint from under the roll. Yeah, we were off the charts.

Patois: I thought about the weight limit on a toilet, too. God help you if it's an upstairs bathroom. I'd be scared to be in the room below...

SupahMommy said...

also navy... my hubby was in norfolk and my b.i.l did his full time in st. mary's georgia.. subs

go navy.

Princess of Sarcasm said...

I didn't ever want to be a minivan mom. Luckily my husband is from Texas and wanted me to drive a Texas Cadillac...otherwise known as a Suburban. :)

Reservoir Dad said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Reservoir Dad said...

A blowjob for the obese is always given while they are laying on their back. The fat slides away and the penis surfaces like a submarine.

Chris said...

LMAO. Great post, Janie. Only you could come up with a mixture of sarcasm and reality and make it hilarious!

Janie Woods said...

RD: OK, now that image is burned into my brain....A whale on the bed yelling, "Dive! Dive! Dive!" at some chick. Nice...

Chris: I've missed you!! You are always the greatest!!