Friday, August 28, 2009

How Can This Be??? Velcro is the root of all evil....

I am just off the charts, I swear.  I woke up this morning at 0500 to this CRAZY thunderstorm.  I mean, window-rattling crazy storm.  Because our bedroom has 10 windows, it's pretty easy to hear storms like that!  Not to mention lightning lighting up my darkened room.  So I jump out of bed because I hadn't heard Carlos get ready for work (too much tequila last night, as the song goes) to make sure he was awake.  I ran downstairs to see the truck pulling out of the driveway.  So, I go about the business of making breakfast for the kids, lunch for me and getting ready for work.  I only woke up 15 minutes early, so no big deal really. 

Jim is going to night school to make up some credits that he's missing for graduation.  This works well for me because David's bus comes at 6:35 but Little Man's doesn't come until 8:10.  I leave for work at 6:15 so that's kind of a dilemma.  NOW, Jim is responsible for feeding, dressing and taking Little Man to the bus in  the mornings.  Thank God for teenagers---it's like having a built in Manny.  It's saving me time on the road and $$ for before school care (which I need now that I have to pay for parking.  I'm not bitter, I'm just sayin's all).  OK, now I digress.  Too much information, Janie, just get to the point!

Well, in the middle of making breakfast yadda yadda, I set out clothes for Little Man.  I find his rain boots and his favorite umbrella(s).  I dig through the entry closet and find the umbrellas for the older manchildren.  I set his backpack by the door, with his shoes tucked neatly inside, all the while eyeing the rain and feeling bad that they have to wait in this storm for the bus instead of in a nice, warm car. 

This is when it hits me.  Holy cow, Little Man doesn't know how to tie his shoes!!  I can't send him to school in his favorite Cars rainboots and then have him humiliated because he can't tie his shoes!!  Curse velcro!  It has been the dumbing down of our children!!  I start praying for the rain to subside so he can just wear his shoes, swearing that by the end of the weekend, he'll be a shoe-tying master.  Well, prayer answered.  The storm quit as I left for work. 

I just got off the phone with Carlos.  I tell him my thoughts on shoe-tying and the evils of Velcro.  He agrees and mentions some rabbit ears thing or rabbit around a tree being chased by a lion down a hole. I don't know.  I just sat here thinking my police officer had been sniffing the pepper spray.  I was completely lost in this conversation.  He asked, "Well, how did you teach Jim and David to do it?" (he's their stepdad, remember).  Ummmm, I have no idea.  I don't think I did.  Stunned silence.  "You  mean our teenagers can't tie their own shoes???  I know you've spoiled them, but really???"  (my kids get breakfast in bed every morning--just something I do before school).  No, no, I explain.  I think either their dad did it during one of my deployments or maybe Georgia, their old daycare provider in California. 

So Holy cow!  How can this be?  How can it be that I've overlooked teaching my son one of the basic tenets of survival???  Now I'm having these completely random thoughts....What if his shoe becomes untied while he's on his scooter going down the hill to the marina on wet pavement with Beau in front of him and Chico the Wonder Dog chasing him with a car in front of him with his helmet unbuckled and a boat on the ramp and a cat on the side of the road and the dogs chase the cat and he puts his foot down to stop but trips on the lace?  What then, huh? WHAT THEN???? 

Except for his cleats, his shoes have mostly been Velcro.  I haven't thought about teaching him to tie them.  He can't reach his feet in full pads for either LAX or football so I've always put his cleats on him. 

Wow, bbbaaaadddd mommy.  I will be completely neurotic about this until he can tie his shoes.  There isn't enough beer or tequila or rum in the world to ease my guilt.  Well, maybe there is.....


Anonymous said...

if you wanna adopt a 37 year old I'm ready!

breakfast in bed? sheeeeeeeesh

Janie Woods said...

yeah yeah, I know...I do it because of all the time I spent away from them in the military

Martie said...

This is hilarious...just this morning I was getting my kids ready for school. The boys (7 and 4) can't tie their shoes and wear velcro sneakers. My 8 year old daughter wanted to wear sneakers today also. She asked me to tie them "extra good" because she doesn't want them to come untied and then "everyone would know she's in 3rd grade and can't tie". Now I gotta spend all weekend teaching her to tie. I thought she learned last year! Darn flip flops and sandals made me forget this Summer that she can't tie!

Chief said...

my 3rd grader can't tie his shoes (at least not in less than 24 hours). I have always bought him the curly shoelaces that cinch up and don't need to be tied just because I can't stand waiting while he shoves the damned rabbit through the friggin hole and around the p.o.s tree!

Barefoot Dreamer said...

I have a first grader this year that still can't tie shoes - totally my fault! totally!!!!! I was going to teach him this summer- didn't happen.

My now 3rd grader finally taught herself in the middle of first grade. Seriously - I don't know how something so simple can be so hard to teach.

Thanks popping into my blog.

ciara said...

think of all the guilt i felt when my youngest couldn't tie her shoe until third grade. what the hell was i doing w myself that i couldn't teach this child? it wasn't like i was working or off on deployment somewhere (like you). jeez. parental FAIL lol

and wow, they have a built in Manny?? does bring oodles of $$ w him and can he hit the long ball? hehe just kidding.

btw, i'm sure your guilt was eased for awhile during beer chat lmao ;0)

Jeremiah said...

i am a firm believer that there are some things that kids should learn on their own, but there is something special about a parent giving a kid confidence by providing them with their first taste of independence. I'm glad you see the importance of the ritual. An admin note (feel free to edit after you read it): I am unable to link my live website to this comment because a name/URL option is not available (This is Paul "Mr. Man" from )

S3XinthePantry said...

IMO two bunny ears is an easier start than the mouse chasing around the tree.

Or said another way - two loops that you just cross and pull instead of wrapping one string around the loop and pulling it through.

Okay - demonstration is best with tying shoes - but he'll get it!

PS found you by way of Dear Mr. Man

Anti-Supermom said...

That picture is like a car wreck - you just don't want to look/laugh but you can't help yourself.