As you remember, I'm on probation from the Mancave. It sucks. It REALLY sucks. But the great thing about being the Queen in my house? I can break the rules. Now, if you don't know it, I am the only female in my house. I have three sons, a male German Shepherd and a male tabby cat. Well, that's not exactly accurate. We also have two hamsters. Females. They fight CONSTANTLY! See why I'm the only female? God blessed me with boys. He smiled down on me and said, "You there! Yes, you! The center of attention! The center of everyone's universe! I'm giving you man-children because if there was another female in your house I know you'll lose your sanity completely and she might not survive her teenage years." Yes, God was good to me.
That's not to say that my boys do not make me completely nuts. Let me give you a perfect example of my teenagers. Flashback to 1996. The boys were just turning two and four. I come home from work late and am greeted at the door by my 18 month old, wearing nothing but a diaper and in a sumo stance. "Mom! Where's Kaybub?" (That was his nickname for his brother...I don't know). I'm standing in a little shock saying, "I don't know honey. Did you look in the living room?" He tears through the house to the family room. That particular family room was sunken two steps down from the living room. I watch as he gleefully launches himself off the steps to elbow drop his brother who is sitting on the floor watching TV. Jim jumps up, grabs his brother and leg-sweeps him onto the floor. The battle begins and I haven't even put down my bags. I look at the computer and there's their father, looking haggard with a 1000 yard stare at the screen. "How long has this been going on?" I ask. He just looks at me wearily and says slowly, "All night long...." That was 12 years ago and it hasn't stopped. It hasn't even slowed down. It's gotten more active with the addition of their little brother. Throw in wrestling, lacrosse, soccer, karate classes and football and I have the perfect storm in my household. Yes, the only words my kids seem to hear from me and Carlos? "Boys!" "BOYS!!" "BOOOYYYYSSSS!"
So, I'm on this probation due to my momentary lapse of reason, due to years of the above. That's what it is, I'm telling you. I have Post Baby Boy Birthing Traumatic Stress Disorder coupled with Mother of Independent Teenage Boys with Girlfriends and Five Year Old Head of Household sydromes. But ahhhhh....They're not in the Mancave! They are off doing their things. Carlos is on duty, Abe is upstairs for now playing Wii Golf, David is in his room doing whatever and Jim is out skating with his friends. The best part? Navy/Notre Dame is about to kick-off! So, I sneak into the Mancave. Let the TiVOing begin!!
What a game it was!! I TiVOed it, and during commercials went throughout the house so I wouldn't get dimed out being in the 'Cave. Went about my duties of laundry, baking, etc. But man! It was hard to do! The first half was soooo good! We were playing unbelievably well, ND was not so hot and the game was tied throughout most of the first half. After halftime? Yeah, a whole 'nother story. ND exploded. So, I'm yelling at the TV and throwing the popcorn around when I catch a glimpse of someone out of the corner of my eye. Yep, busted. Busted sneakin' into the 'Cave on probation. There stands Abe. Now he doesn't get the probation thing, but I DO know that he'll tell Dad he was watching the game with me and the question will come up, "Oh yeah? What TV did you watch it on?" being the wiley husband he is....So, let the bribing commence. Good thing I have TiVO.....The Mids were behind 20 points with four minutes left. So, to keep from being completely busted, I went upstairs to bake the promised peanut butter cookies. No big deal, I would just watch the last few minutes later--we're too far behind anyway and ND is steamrolling over us.
Ummmm, ya'll remember my first entry? Leaving the stadium, stripped ball, tie game? Well, yeah. Similiar situation except I didn't catch it on the JumboTron. I saw it on Sports Center that night. Baking cookies to keep from getting busted. We nearly tied the game again with just a few seconds left. Final score 27-20.
The worst part? "Daddy! Mommy baked me peanut butter cookies so I could eat them watching football with her on the BIG TV!!" Shoot me.....
So now, I'm on double super secret probation and only allowed in the Mancave when I'm serving snacks, soda and beer. I hope this doesn't last too long....Seattle plays Dallas on Thanksgiving!!
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